


It's Always Been You

by smokesforsterek



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Oblivious Scott, Pining, Sciles, So much angst, Unrequited Love, background sterek, stiles pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 19:31:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4577079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smokesforsterek/pseuds/smokesforsterek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was gay and he was in love with Scott. </p><p>Stiles was in love with his best friend who he knew would not ever love him in the same way. This realization however didn’t stop Stiles from his best friend duties. He, Lydia, and Kira made signs for the lacrosse games, he saw Scott fumble through speech class, and he even helped him learn Romeo’s monologue for extra credit. </p><p>or the one where Stiles is hopelessly in love with his best friend and can't do anything about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Always Been You

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, this is kinda fucked up because when I wrote this 2 things were happening. 1) I had to write a story were the main character doesn’t get what they want and 2) I was having a crisis where I was in love with my very good friend so this came of it. This started off much shorter and in first person for the project but I decided to fix the story up for my friend, [Katie's](http://mspennycrumb.tumblr.com/) birthday. The result was this. **Really bad jazz hands** There's a fuckton of angst in this and there are some things that I changed from canon, like the sheriff is an alcoholic and it ends up getting worse when Claudia dies. So yeah, but I think that’s it? There are some OCs but that’s not all that important. 
> 
> Happy Birthday Katie! I hope you like it!!

They met in the park.  Scott was sitting in the cool spring air when some kid came and peed on his sand castle. Scott let out a cry until his mom came over and asked where the boy’s  mother was. The kid told Melissa that he just wanted to tell Scott that his Batman shirt was good and that he liked Batman too. Melissa looked around the park but didn’t see anyone looking for the boy.

“Where is your mother or father?” she asked.

“I ran away, because my mom is sick and my dad is mean,” the boy said. Her eyes scanned the playground but there was still no one rushing to the child in front of her. Melissa asked the boy how old he was and when he said he was 7 Scott yelled out a “Me too!”

The boy looked excitedly down at Scott as Melissa pulled out her cell phone to call the Police station to report him.

“What’s your name sweetie?” Melissa was crouched down on one knee and looking him in the eye.

“Stiles,” he said as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “I’m sorry I peed on your sand castle.”

“It’s okay, it wasn’t going so well anyway. Wanna play until your mom gets here?” Scott pardoned his new friend. His mother looked worried but she said it was okay for them to play while they waited for someone to find Stiles.

The jungle gym was only a small distance away and the two young boys ran to the brightly colored metal and plastic play place.

“Stiles doesn’t sound like a real name,” Scott asked as he started climbing up the ladder.

“Yeah, it’s a nickname,” Stiles replied.

“Oh, it’s kind of funny,” they played along each other while Melissa sat on a bench near the edge of the playground.  

She called the Sheriff’s station and reported a lost child at the park going by the name Stiles, and immediately the deputy on the line said she was going to transfer her to the sheriff. Melissa was surprised that the sheriff was so interested in a missing child,  but she waited on hold until the voice came up on the other end of the line.

Their short conversation gave the information that Stiles was the Sheriff’s son, and that he had left the house while the babysitter was asleep.  He was looking for him, but he also had to work so he was very appreciative of Melissa finding him and watching him.

The sheriff thanked him again and said he would be at the park in a few minutes. Melissa hung up and then watched the two boys play spaceship.

A cruiser came by and parked in the small lot and the sheriff emerged. As soon as Stiles saw the car, he put his head down and started sulking off of the jungle gym. Melissa greeted the sheriff, he introduced himself as John, and called for Scott to come.

“I’m Scott by the way!” Scott said as he caught up to Stiles and walked to their parents. Melissa wrapped her arms around him and patted his head while the sheriff opened the back seat of the cruiser and Stiles slid in. The door was slammed shut and John went to shake Melissa’s hand.

It was a few days later, when Stiles was sitting under a tree in the playground when he saw Scott pulling an inhaler out of his pocket while the kids you were playing tag with continued on without him.

“Scott!” Stiles stood up and ran to where his friend was. “Hi! I didn’t know you came to school here.”

“I- just-transferred,” he was breathing deeply waiting for his inhaler to take effect, he took another hit.

“You wanna come sit down and take a break?” Stiles pointed to the tree he was sitting under before he came up to Scott. The boy only nodded and Stiles lead him to the shady spot.

The two boys sat and under the tree and watched the kids in their grade play tag and try their hand at the monkey bars.

“You know what’s a lot of fun?” Stiles perked up and looked at Scott.

“What?”

“Tree climbing,” Stiles’ eyebrows rose and a smile split across his face before he stood up and looked up the trunk of the tree. The school was smart enough to cut the lower branches off but the lowest branches were just low enough that if someone gave him a boost, Stiles was sure he could make it. “Gimme a boost.”

Scott stood up, “I don’t think this is a good-”

“Come on Scott,” and with that, the boy seemed to be convinced. He linked their fingers together and lifted the other boy up. He just reached the branch and he got himself up onto it. He straddled the branch and waved down at his new friend. Stiles continued to climb and looked down every now and then to see Scott’s smiling face.

The experience was short lived when Mrs. Grennich came and yelled at Stiles to get down and helped him remove himself from the tree. Both boys were sentenced to after school detention. Their parents were called. Scott’s mom came almost immediately and talked to the teacher about his misbehavior. Stiles waited until almost 7pm when a deputy arrived to pick him up and take him home.

This was only their first time in detention, and through their acts of misbehavior the two became best friends.

The rest of their elementary years were spent putting frogs into Sadie Mitchell's lunch pail, replacing everyone’s pinto beans with small rocks, and selling crayons in the playground. For the science fair in third grade, they made a paper mache volcano with a coke and mentos eruptions and they got suspended for three days. Scott’s mom was so mad that she even took away their walkie talkies so they couldn’t even talk while they were exiled in their rooms. Stiles’ father didn’t let Stiles go see his mom for those three days.

The trouble making didn’t stop then. Stiles’ mother died in fourth grade. The sheriff started drinking, and when bruises started forming on Stiles, Melissa invited him over to her house more often.

The two settled into a routine of video games and sleepovers all the way to high school. Mr. Stilinski lost his job after he showed up to work intoxicated for a week straight. He became a frequent visitor to the drunk tank after that.

It was sophomore year when Allison Argent stumbled into town. Scott and Allison hit it off immediately, and soon she was an addition to their friendship that wouldn’t go away. It wasn’t too much later that Scott and Allison started dating. Allison made friends with some of the more popular kids, and before they knew it, they were part of that crowd too.

Well, Scott was. Stiles was still that weird kid whose dad was the town drunk. Stiles still found himself at Scott’s house on Friday nights, even when Scott was out with Allison. He would come back and they would sit on his bed and Scott would tell Stiles all about how he and Allison went bowling, even though they both knew he was a terrible bowler. For some reason though, Stiles was always jealous, his heart always hurt and he could feel a little green monster sitting on his shoulder. He didn’t know why, he had never really experienced it before. He chucked it up to Scott spending his time with someone else. He also didn’t know why he told Scott that he was in love with Lydia Martin even though he knew he wasn’t attracted to her.

The night that Scott lost his virginity, he told Stiles all about it. Scott told him every excruciating detail about how she tasted and felt. Scott told him about about how he saw stars and that it was gross but he wanted to do it again. Stiles felt that weird feeling again, the jealousy that he wanted to be the one to make Scott feel that way. He still acted like the best friend he was and congratulated him. He faked a text from his dad telling him to come home.

The house was dark and empty when he got there, his father’s car gone from the driveway. Stiles let himself in and went up to his room. Curled up on his bed he cried for a loss he didn’t quite understand. He just knew he felt hurt and that he heart wanted to explode.

Allison had to move away, her dad had some security company and it was time for them to move on. It was just the two of them for three months, back to all night video game sessions and late night adventures into the woods at the edge of the park.

Then Kira moved in next door. She was nice, and sweet. Scott liked her and they spent many nights talking through their windows. Scott would tell Stiles that she would sneak in at night and they would cuddle.

School started and their Friday night game sessions turned into Scott and Kira going on dates. He took Kira to the park they met at, and kissed her on the bench overlooking the jungle gym. Stiles spent a lot more time at his house with his dad.

Stiles had to get a job as soon as he turned 16 because with his dad’s alcoholism being funded for by his mother’s life insurance money, he needed money for food and school supplies. Scott was busy with Kira and his growing talent for lacrosse, while Stiles was bussing tables for minimum wage and contemplating dropping out of school to go full time.

It wasn’t often when Stiles would miss his mom, but when he did he would be at the park. The swings squeaked under his weight, his breath was visible in the cold night air. Scott always knew when he was there. Stiles never knew how, but Scott knew how much his mom meant to him. He never said it in words, but Scott got it. They’d sit there in comfortable silence while Stiles sniffled. Eventually, Stiles would tell his best friend a happy memory he had of his mom and Scott would say something encouraging.

When Scott’s dad rolls back into town for a few days looking to start over and actually be there for Scott, they hang out at the park. Scott would say that dad’s are useless and that if he ever became a dad he would be the best dad ever. They would sit at the park all day and go get Taco Bell before returning to their houses.

Stiles was hanging out with Lydia, who had grown to be a really great friend, watching videos on YouTube for a project they were working on: a presentation about the homelessness of LGBT youths. The video they were watching was about kids realizing who they were, and how when they knew that if they told their parents they would be kicked out. Something in the video touched Stiles, they way the kids were talking about what they were thinking and how it made them feel made him realize that he was gay. He was gay and he was in love with Scott.

Stiles was in love with his best friend who he knew would not ever love him in the same way. This realization however didn’t stop Stiles from his best friend duties. He, Lydia, and Kira made signs for the lacrosse games, he saw Scott fumble through speech class, and he even helped him learn Romeo’s monologue for extra credit.

Kira and Scott broke up, and Ella was the new girl hanging off of his arm. They went out a full month before she was expelled for hooking up with Greenberg in the janitor’s closet. Scott couldn’t believe it and was heartbroken. The boys sat on Scott’s bed and Stiles listened to everything that Scott had to say. The tears that fell from his eyes made Stiles hate Ella with all his being.

They fell asleep talking, and when Stiles woke up with Scott’s back to his chest, an arm thrown over his waist, and his nose in his neck he thought to himself how completely and utterly gone he was on this boy. Stiles pulled himself out of the bed, and walked to the bathroom and showered quickly before Scott woke up. The warm spray of the shower was perfect on his skin as he stroked himself to the memory of the smell that had been familiar to him since he was a kid. Stiles couldn’t help but think, but hope that the orgasm that he got would have been better if he was there.

Senior came with college applications and SAT tests. Scott managed to start dating a girl named Angela, and eventually she ended up being Scott’s date to senior prom. Stiles took Erica, who he knew had a crush on him. He felt bad, but not as bad as seeing Scott dress up in a nice suit and a bow tie that would match Angela’s dress. Stiles remarked to himself how good Scott looked in a tux.

The night passed and in Stiles’ and probably Erica’s opinion, it was the worst night ever. Scott and Angela disappeared soon after the dance started, and Stiles ended up taking Erica home before 10PM because a deputy called and needed him to go pick up his father from the tank again.

College plans were made, and it was understood that Scott and Stiles would be roommates at UC Santa Barbara. Stiles made salutatorian and was able to get an academic scholarship as well as a few grants after writing an essay about his mom and dad. Scott got a scholarship to play football for the school, and although they both knew he wanted to play lacrosse, football was better than nothing. Scott memorialized it by signing Stiles’ yearbook with “Stiles! My brother from another mother! I love you and I can’t wait to be roomies next year!!”

Seeing those words in pen on the inside of his yearbook hurt. Stiles was in love with Scott, but Scott saw him as nothing more than a brother. Stiles had planned to write a long essay type message to Scott in his yearbook, but seeing the small inscription Scott wrote to him  Stiles ended up scribbling a quick, “Love you man! College here we come!”

They weren’t in Santa Barbara for a month when Stiles gets a call from deputy station saying that his dad had wrapped his car around a tree on the highway and was found dead that morning. Mrs. McCall had agreed to keep an eye on his dad but everyone knew he was a lost cause and it was going to happen eventually.

Stiles had to leave Santa Barbara while Mrs. McCall helped him organize a funeral. Scott went up to Beacon Hills for the funeral and let Stiles stay with him. The Stilinski house had fallen apart since Stiles, bottles ridden all over the house, no food in the fridge, and there was a horrible smell coming from his father’s bedroom. Stiles curled up on Scott’s bed and Scott sat there and let him cry on his shoulder.

Stiles knew it was because of his father’s death that Scott was holding him like that, but he couldn’t help but want to be held like that his entire life. He wanted to fall asleep  in those arms and he wanted to wake up in them too. Stiles wished they could get married, get a house, adopt some kids. He knew it would never happen. The warm embrace of his friend would have to suffice for now.

Scott turned 21 before Stiles, and that was a night that Stiles would remember forever but Scott would not. They were sitting in their apartment and Scott was beyond wasted while Stiles didn’t really touch the beer he had bought for them to share. Stiles was wary of alcohol because of his father’s addiction. Scott was slurring words and wanted to fall asleep. The events of the night were lost to Scott, but Stiles knows that he told him he was gay, and he kissed him. Scott mumbled something about Stiles being a good kisser before vomiting and passing out. The next morning Stiles had to tell him again that he was gay, but didn’t tell him about the kiss.

The confession of his sexuality didn’t change anything between them. Scott still walked around the apartment with a towel slung low on his hips, it drove Stiles insane but he didn’t want to ruin their friendship. Stiles still curled up at night and wished on every star he saw that it could be different. Scott dated so many girls off and on in college it was hard to keep track but the sounds of one night stands killed Stiles a little inside.

Stiles' 21st birthday was only a few months after Scott’s, so for his birthday they actually went  bar-hopping. Scott convinced Stiles to go into a gay bar and there they ran into some of Scott’s friends from work. Three guys named Isaac, Boyd, who he learned was dating Erica from their high school, and Derek. Stiles went home with Derek that night. Derek somehow knew that Stiles was pinning after Scott, but that didn’t stop him from pounding Stiles. The sex was good, but Stiles couldn’t help but wish it was Scott, and couldn’t help but feel like he was cheating on someone who didn’t even know his true feelings.

They traded numbers and if Derek came over a few times a month, Scott didn’t seem to mind. But Derek never asked Stiles to do anything outside of their apartments, to which Stiles was very happy about. Sometimes, he just needed a good fuck, and Derek never said anything when Stiles would call out Scott’s name.

When they graduated, Scott was dating a girl named Jessica. Out of all the girls Scott had dated, Stiles liked her the best. She was obsessed with Star Wars and forced Scott to watch it, something that Stiles was always unable to do. Because of her, Scott became the biggest Star Wars nerd and they went to Comic Con dressed as Han Solo and Leia.

Scott asked Jessica to marry him after they had been together a couple of years. Stiles was working in forensics lab, Scott was still working on getting into Vet school, and Jessica was a kindergarten teacher. After their engagement, Scott asked Stiles to move out of the apartment they had shared since they moved out to Santa Barbara almost 6 years ago.  

Stiles found a little studio near work, but it felt so empty without the flat screen tv Scott bought at a garage sale, or the two lazy boys they took off of some old neighbors. Scott gave Stiles all their mix-matched dishes in preparation for new ones Jessica was sure to buy.  Stiles’ stomach fell whenever he thought about Scott and Jessica making his home into their home.

At night, Stiles’ would sit on the floor and cry because now he knew he was completely gone on the one person who could never love him back. He was moving on and Stiles was moving out.

Stiles was still going to be the best friend he had always been though. He couldn’t just drop the most important person in his life over a spit of jealously. So that is how Stiles was sitting on the phone with a bar arranging Scott’s bachelor party.

The event went off without too many hitches. Jessica said no strippers and Stiles was gonna honor that. Well, after Scott begged him to. They ended up at a bar that wasn’t the one Stiles had called. They both drank until they were both seeing three of each other.

“Man, you’re so lucky. To have someone who loves you as much as you love them,” Stiles said. The rest of the party had left and it was too early in the morning to care about how the bartender was looking at him.

“You’ll find someone dude,” Scott hiccuped.

“Nah, I’m never getting married.”

“Yes you will. He’s out there man. He’s perfect and he’s hot.” Scott tipped the cup back finishing off the small amount of liquid at the bottom. Stiles just rubbed his fingers over the rim of his glass and couldn’t help but think about how much he wanted to kiss Scott. Stiles thought to himself how right Scott was, but that he was an idiot for not knowing that he was talking about himself.

“You’ll find love and happiness one day man. I know you will.” Scott says before his head hits the counter.

“I already have,” Stiles whispers trying to get Scott in the cab a few minutes later. A soft “I love you” escapes his lips as he sets his passed out friend on his couch.

At the wedding, Stiles is the picture of a perfect Best Man. He showed up on time, not hungover miraculously, and helped Scott tie his tie. The ceremony was truly beautiful, it was outside and the sea of white and yellow flowers made it seem like a bit of heaven has fallen on Santa Barbara.

The congregation stood for Jessica as she entered, but while everyone was looking at her, Stiles was looking at Scott. He had the goofiest grin plastered on his face, one that Scott had seen many times, one that he himself had fallen in love with.

Jealousy raged in his stomach when Scott said his vows to her. But he smiled and gave him the ring nonetheless.

The reception was no fun, Stiles got hammered and left before 11PM. He found himself with Derek in his bed the next morning, 10 missed calls and 25 texts from Scott on his phone. He couldn’t bring himself to call him back. He needed a day of self pity.

Stiles didn’t know what he did to deserve this perpetual hell of seeing the one person who he loved more than anything, love and marry someone else. Stiles didn’t understand how Scott didn’t notice the way Stiles looked at him or the soft touches that best friends don’t give. Stiles’ wondered how Scott never saw that he would do anything for Scott even if it was at the most inconvenience to him. Stiles loved him, but he never saw it.

Stiles thought about what the future would be like.  Knowing that his chance with Scott was gone, how the rest of their lives will got. How from now on Scott will wake up next to Jessica cuddled up behind him. How it will be Scott and Jessica’s kids on the Christmas cards. How Scott’s kids will call Stiles ‘Uncle Stiles’, while Stiles wants nothing more than to be their father too.

Thinking about it makes Stiles wants to crawl under a rock.

They’ll grow old together, Scott, Jessica, and himself.  Someday, Scott will ask him why he never got married or loved someone. Stiles will say “I do love someone.” Scott will look at him like he’s crazy because they know each other well enough that he would tell Scott if he was in love with someone, Scott will ask who.

Then maybe Stiles will tell him that “It’s always been you.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> So what did y'all think? Leave a comment or a kudos to let me know what you thought of it!  
> This was looked over by [ Angie](http://prettyinsoulpunk.tumblr.com/) but if there are any remaining mistakes let me know and I will fix them ASAP!


End file.
